Two Steps Forward, One Step Back.....

Before I began my real post, I need to fill you in on a little Mariah-lingo.
I have a permanant ileostomy. Picture a straw, well a really soft straw. Now picture you take the end of the straw and push your fingers under the brim and fold it outward. This is in a sense what was done with my small intestine. The end of it was folded out and made into cuff called a stoma. This stoma sticks out of my stomach close to my belly button. It is where my stool comes out. That is what it means to have an ileostomy. The stool that comes out of my stoma because of my crohn's disease and shortend small bowel is what most people call diarrhea. Sorry if I am grossing you out, but remember, I warned this would get a little  too "real" at times. I call what comes out of my stoma "output." Now that you are familiar with my lingo, I will begain my blogging!!!

Today was a sort of bust for me. Last night I had a wonderful dinner at my mom's house. Almost immediatly I started having an increase of output. This happens quite often and I didn't think a whole lot of it. As the night wore on I realized I was needing to go to the bathroom and empty my "bag" every hour. I was even up several times during the night. The problem with this happening, is that once all my food has run through me, I start losing my fluids. I tend to get dehydrated very quickly. This morning when I woke up I realized that my increase in output had left me dehydrated. My body has tell tell signs of moderate dehydration. I have very labored breathing, my ears are plugged and I feel quite worn out. Unfortunatly I had all of these symptoms this morning. I kept thinking I should call Ginny and reschedule our run. I really didn't want to though. I wanted to be there no matter what. So, I ate a high protien breakfast and snack, and drank a lot of water. I was hoping this would get me back to "normal."

When Ginny arrived I felt slightly better. I was hopeful. Let's just say it didn't take too long to figure out, that my body wasn't going to have it. It wasn't going to let me be the boss today. I was week, had very labored breathing and before long had really intense pains in my guts. BOOOO, I was so frustrated! Ginny was so great to agree to stop, and try again tomorrow. She is the best!

I came home after being out 15 min. and was really worn out. I was very light headed and week. I sat down until I caught my breath, then I layed down and let the world spin, until it calmed down. I felt really annoyed at the realitization that I can't always be in control. Sometimes things just happen. I then thought about how happy I am that I am doing a program with such flexability. I only need to go out 3 days a week and there just happens to be 7 days in each week. This does give me some room. I just needed to convince myself that it really was okay.

Time out: 15 min.
Distance covered: 1/2 mile.

And there you go. It doesn't matter how many times you fall off, it only matters how many times you get back up. I am eating well today and plan to be back out tomorrow!!!

p.s. I coudn't get my spell checker to work, and as you can tell I am not the greatest speller. Sorry!